


The Best of Occasions Are Discovered at the Right Time, Wrong Place (Josh Dun)

by MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 18+, Brief Mention of Male and Female Genitalia, Daddy Josh Dun (Domestic), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Happens in a Doctor Office, Planned Pregnancy, Unexpected Circumstances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 04:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18491116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive/pseuds/MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive
Summary: "When you said over the phone that this was an emergency, I didn't think it meant this"In which during a very unforeseen chain of events, you confirm to Josh that all the efforts you've put into a special project have finally paid of.This is the product of my overactive (read: freaky and unexplained) brain. Also 18+ due to brief mention of male and female genitalia, so please read at your own risk.





	The Best of Occasions Are Discovered at the Right Time, Wrong Place (Josh Dun)

"When you said over the phone that this was an emergency, I didn't think it meant _this._ "

 _This_ , being a visual than in your 6-year relationship, you'd never think, much less _imagine_ seeing, 

It featured Josh, both red from embarrassment and pain, propped on a doctor's bench with his legs splayed wide open; his pants and boxers bunched around his knees to expose his overly swollen and red lower regions, while a spectacle-wearing middle-aged doctor, sitting on his wheeled stool, stands in between Josh's legs, alternating between examining your husband's hurting organs and concentrating on scribbling notes on his clipboard held between his hands.

"Mrs. Dun, you're here. I’m Dr. Stein. Please come in" greeting you enthusiastically, he stands up to meet you halfway into the room, then through a hand gesture invites you to sit in the chair placed next to the bench. Without any hesitation, you do so, instantly feeling the tight squeeze of Josh's fingers on yours as he fights through the pain, while Dr. Stein remains in his initial spot.

Despite its obvious awkwardness, he remains calm as he explains the situation, "Well, Mrs. Dun, as you may have noticed, your husband is suffering from an acute case of penile inflammation, which, according to him, was due to a dropped cymbal on the organ. "

Despite the seriousness of the situation, you can't help but look over at Josh, scoff and chuckle, even somewhat make fun of him by saying, “I leave you alone for two hours, _two hours_ , and in that time, you manage to do this to yourself?" then add sarcastically, "I know that you're supposed to be married to your drums or whatever, but how do you manage to drop a cymbal _there_? "

“This isn't funny (Y/N)!” is your husband's exclamative yet strained reply, followed by a cry, "Can't you see I'm in pain? "

"The thing is, Mrs. Dun,” Dr. Stein's pragmatic tone interrupts the altercation, no doubt to move things along, "It has come to my attention that although the drop of a cymbal does cause significant shock to the organ, Joshua's penis is too enlarged to solely have been hurt by this accident" In a more inquisitive tone, he asks, "Could there be another reason for this, perhaps due to sexual intercourse practices? "

Gulping, now matching Josh's facial expression-and with your eyes open wide in shock, due to being shamelessly asked about your otherwise private sex life, you turn to Josh, and use his simultaneous nod and vigorous hand squeeze as encouragement, however you answer, not without mortification.

"W-w-ell," you stammer, "I don't know if has anything to do with it, but we've been actively trying for a baby" then suggest uncomfortably, "almost, er _aggressively_? " which due to feeling humiliated comes out as a question more than a fact. 

"That is very likely" Dr. Stein confirms, then as he scribbles on a prescription pad explains instructively, "To reduce the swelling, I recommend no sex until the pain settles, light activity as not to cause any strain and applying anti-inflammatory cream on the regions. When the pain settles, call my receptionist to book a follow-up appointment"

Before he hands you the prescription and ushers you out of the room, he additionally warns you, "Also, Mrs. Dun, given the magnitude of your intercourse, you are at risk of developing vaginal inflammation so it’s important you also refrain"

This once again taboo sentence said in a casual manner, causes you humiliation, that is, makes your face heat up, initiates Josh’s scoffing—his way of reciprocating your earlier mocking—and makes you wish you could hide under the bench or better yet, disappear, but most of all, prompts you to hurriedly rush back home to both avoid hearing any more of the doctor's unfiltered suggestions and to follow his strict regime.                                     

The complaining starts as you're on your way back home, stuck in traffic on the I-110, this highway a literal Los Angeles parking lot.

"No sex until the pain settles? " he whines while lying down in the passenger's seat, " _Until the pain settles?_ What does that even _mean_? "

"Josh," you start, attempting to be the rational one here as you stare at the line of cars in front of you, "it's just until you feel bett—"

"-But" he cuts you off, vulnerably bringing up a topic that obviously means a whole lot to him since you started acting on it 3 months ago, "what about trying for the baby?"

As you keep your gaze before you and not to your right, an attempt to defuse the butterflies threatening to fly in your stomach and the impending goosebumps, a side smile stretches your lips, in anticipation of his reaction.

"About that" you subtly warn, trying to keep your smile at bay, "We won't have to anymore"

"What do you mean? " He panics, his words argumentative as a result, "We can't just stop because the doctor told us to hold it and humiliate—"

"-There's a reason I was late"

" _Late_? " He asks, furrowing his eyebrows, surprised that you cut him off and obviously not aware of your double entendre.

"This isn't how I imagined telling you, not with us in a car stuck in traffic and with you being, um, _indisposed_ , but I guess the best of occasions are discovered at the right time, wrong place"

" _Late_?" He retaliates, demanding that you explain yourself _now_ , even more so with the introduction of your recent philosophical principle.

"Late, in both senses, Josh" you set out, gripping the steering wheel, staring ahead, and breathing deeply before defining what you mean.

"For your emergency hospital visit and for my monthly visit from Mother Nature" then reveal, "That's why I went to my own doctor's appointment"  

As the momentous news prepares to flood out of your mouth, you rid your fingers of all tension, twist your body to face him—noticing his baffled expression—place your hands atop his, and breathe in deeply before unveiling your recently learned news.

"A blood test confirmed that we won't have to try anymore" slyly, you add, "at least not for the next nine or so months"

"You mean? " He hesitates, hope both evident in his voice and slanted brown eyes, reminding you of a child.

Due to being overwhelmed (you'd never admit it but becoming a parent might mean more to you than it did to Josh), you simply nod, causing Josh to squint his eyes in happiness and to put his palm over his mouth in shock.

" _Stop the ca_ _r_!”  He suddenly yells, breaking your trance of blossoming images of your unborn child.

" _What_? Josh, I can't just stop the car in the middle of traffic!" You argue, meanwhile, his hands attempt to adjust the seat lever.

"Well, then drive off the side!" He demands, and just as you're about to scold him for asking you to break yet another basic driving rule, you hear a telling _click_ followed by a very exclamative " _ow_!” 

Looking over to your left, the source of the sound, you find Josh in an upright position, cupping his privates, his facial expression one of agony, as if were _begging_ you to rid him of his misery.

"I was going to kiss you" he explains in a strained tone, his response to your furrowed eyebrows and inquisitive expression, "but when I went to bring the seat up, it accidentally locked too tight and propelled me forward which," he winces in pain at the recent thought, "caused shock _there_ "

Much like when you saw him at the doctor's office in his, shall we call it, _situation_ , an afoot urge to laugh bubbles in your throat, because, _of course,_ this would be the next casual consequence in today's unfathomable sequence of events, but this reaction is quickly muted by Josh maneuvering his body so that it stands over the middle of the car's console, his brown eyes intimately asking you to do the same.

"You're not even born yet and you've already caused me pain," he remarks, once you meet him, both of your foreheads pressed and noses slotted together with your gazes both focused downward on the swell of your non-yet existing baby bump, "but" he discloses in admiration after your fingers link over your belly button, "except for your mom, you're the best thing to ever happen to me, baby pilot"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this out of my comfort zone oneshot- I sure did enjoy the way it turned out! As usual, feedback in any form would be really appreciated! Thank you!


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